Posts Tagged ‘caregiver stress’
Last Updated on Friday, 25 November 2011 03:23 Written by David Solie Wednesday, 25 May 2011 05:27
As the drama of aging parents unfolds, it reveals itself as layers of interconnected dilemmas that resist heroic attempts to keep everything together. Like an unruly Rubik’s Cube, alignment in one caregiver area seems to trigger chaos in another. Just when driving issues calm down, sibling conflict erupts over money. Just when housing accommodations get better, a parent falls and winds up in the hospital. In the face of this steady stream of dilemmas, the natural instinct is to work harder in search of the illusive strategic mix that will stabilize this disruptive phenomenon. Ironically, upping the work ethic on dilemmas only seems to give birth to new ones, a sorcerer’s apprentice law of dilemma management that runs caregivers ragged. What can make this reality of caregiving better?
Thinking won’t help. The brain buzz of dilemmas is a closed loop swamp of internal dialogues, an emotional rabbit hole of endless backward (repair the past) and forward (control the future) conversations. Caregivers wind up thinking themselves into stress filled knots that make navigation worse.
Putting thinking in its proper place does help. Finding a respite from the brain buzz, a space between the riptides of competing conversations, offers caregivers reprieve, repair, and rejuvenation. Fortunately, the technique for creating this healing space is being used in healthcare to manage other dilemma-riddled life events including chronic illness, depression, substance abuse, and heart disease. This clinically proven approach is called mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR), a secular form of meditation (see this link for a quick summary of the technique Mindfulness Meditation)
The approach is straightforward and accessible to anyone at any time. All it requires is that the caregiver learn how to pay attention “on purpose” to moment-to-moment events in the present. The practice (operative word “practice”) of staying focused on the present creates a space from never-ending brain buzz. This elegant form of compassionate detachment from thoughts and emotions offers caregivers a new perspective from which to observe their dilemmas as well as their habitual patterns of behavior of managing them. All of this is done within the context of kindness, compassion, non-judgment, patience, acceptance, and trust.
Like other healthy habits, regular use of MBSR can have a positive impact on the caregiver well being. It can reduce the stress, anxiety, and depression. For caregivers who want to learn more about MBSR, Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book entitled Full Catastrophe Living is an excellent resource. He is the founder of the Stress Reduction Clinic at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center, is perhaps the best-known proponent of using meditation to help patients deal with illness. His book is a terrific introduction for anyone who has considered meditating but was afraid it would be too difficult or would include religious practices they found foreign. Kabat-Zinn focuses on “mindfulness,” a concept that involves living in the moment, paying attention, and simply “being” rather than “doing (see this link to find more about the book Full Catastrophe Living)
Tags: aging parents, caregiver, caregiver depression, caregiver stress, caregiver support, caregivers, Caregiving Websites, communicating with aging parents, communicating with elders, communicating with seniors, David Solie, How To Say It To Seniors, long term care, mindful meditation, mindfulness, Nursing homes, old age, on aging, sandwich generation, the elderly | Posted under Aging Parents | No Comments
Last Updated on Sunday, 13 December 2009 03:14 Written by David Solie Sunday, 13 December 2009 03:04
Caregiver stress is well documented and extracts a heavy toll on both caregivers and their families. In the heat of trying to keep everything together, it is hard for caregivers to find effective strategies that offer some respite from the natural tendency to obsess and feel overwhelmed. Caregivers need a way to take their brains “offline,” to momentarily disengage for anxious, closed-loop thinking, catch their emotional breath, and come back renewed. But how?
Here is my solution: Inspirational Walking. This is a simple, effective strategy that combines walking with a personalized soundtrack. It combines two powerful strategies that change thought patterns: exercise and music.
Exercise clears the mind. Even when we start out feeling overwhelmed, a simple thirty minute walk makes our thoughts clearer, gives us new ideas that help us cope, and leaves us feeling physically and mentally energized.
Music inspires the heart. Music has been a part of lives from early childhood, and we all have personal sound tracks of our lives. We mark people, events and the passing of time with certain songs. In the end, music helps us give meaning to our experiences and, as important, helps us cope.
Inspirational Walking integrates both of these strategies into one simple strategy. Here’s how it works:
1. Using iTunes, create a playlist that is thirty minutes long. Begin with a song that captures the reality, mood, or irony of being in a difficult caregiver situation. I personally like Van Morrison’s song “Stranded” with the lyrics “everyday is puzzle time again.” I can’t explain it, but hearing these kinds of songs makes me feel better. Then add songs that that offer courage, inspiration, and motivation. I personally like Jack Johnson’s “Upside Down,” Indigo Girls’ “Love of Our Lives, and Coldplay’s “Yellow.” The key is to find songs that speak to your heart, that pick up your mood and step, and that remind you that you are not alone with your life struggles. Don’t obsess about the order or the exact length of the first playlist. As they say at Nike, just create it.
2. Give your playlist a test run. Put on your most comfortable walking clothes and shoes and take an thirty minute Inspirational Walk. This is your thirty minutes off line. If you can, walk outside; it will have the deepest impact on your thoughts and mood. If not, use a treadmill or an indoor mall. Put the world on pause; it will have to make due without you for thirty minutes. Find your own starting pace and just go with the music.
Remember:
Everyone is stiff and tight the first ten minutes and wonders if this is a good idea.
Everyone feels remarkably better at twenty minutes and are glad they took a walk.
Everyone feels better as they bring it home at end of thirty minutes and are sure it was good for their body, brain, and heart.
3. Modify your playlist and build new ones. Maybe you want to change the order of songs, or delete some songs and add new ones. Maybe you thought of a theme for another Inspirational Walk playlist. Create playlists for those days when nothing goes right. Create playlists for those days you are grateful for the lessons. Create playlists for those days you are on point and things are falling into place.
Our minds don’t do well sitting and stewing. We need movement and music to break us out of our mental quicksand. Try Inspirational Walking for thirty days, three to four times a week. See where the music takes you. See how your body feels with some new, consistent motion. See how your brain reacts to new input. Lastly, share your success and playlists with other caregivers who, like you, need a little time off line to regain their balance.
Tags: aging, aging parents, caregiver, caregiver stress, Communication, coping, David Solie, depression, disability, How To Say It To Seniors, Inspirational Walking | Posted under Aging Parents | No Comments
Last Updated on Saturday, 12 December 2009 04:54 Written by David Solie Saturday, 7 March 2009 08:03
Alzheimer’s disease extracts a toll across generations. Its diagnosis in an aging parent creates an immediate crisis for the offspring who must come to terms with their increased risk of winding up with the same affliction.
New high tech imaging further complicates the emotional upheaval of discovering Alzheimer’s disease “in the family” with its ability to supposedly identify offspring who are appear to be “on track” for the same outcome years before the first symptoms arrive. Painfully, this breakthrough in early detection does not come with a breakthrough in early treatment. Currently, there is no early treatment for “anticipated” Alzheimer’s disease.
For many of the offspring of parents with Alzheimer’s disease this is all too much too soon. They elect to not know the details of their familial risk and simply take their chances. But brain research may be offering some relative “good news” to this “to know or not to know” dilemma by providing important insights about the brain and how to keep it healthy.
First and foremost, brain research is starting to change our minds about the very nature of the brain itself. We are seeing more impressive evidence of “neuroplasticity,” the profound power of the brain to overcome, work around, and even reinvent itself in the face staggering set backs. Norman Doidge captures this new understanding in an intriguing book, The Brain That Changes Itself. It reminds us that the brain is still revealing its uncanny ability to side step disease and misfortune.
Brain research is also starting to offer new insights about the mind-exercise connection. While our techno-evolution into immobile, 24/7 screen watchers may be good for the information-curious brain, it is clearly bad news for brain health. It turns out that our cultural sluggishness creates nutrient and perfusion deficits our brain can ill afford. John Ratey makes a compelling argument for the brain’s fundamental need for exercise in his fascinating book, Spark. It reminds us that we are not simply bystanders in the drama of brain health.
In a similar manner, brain research is starting to sort out other factors that can preserve optimal brain health in addition to exercise. While diet is a hot topic, the findings so far have yielded mixed results. What we do know is that foods that are good for the heart appear to be good for the brain. But beyond that there are no magic brain bullets, expect for possibly one. Blueberries. Sue Halpren’s personal journey through maze of memory research in Can?t Remember What I Forgot, found that blueberries appear to benefit brains unlike any other food. It reminds us that the battle for optimal brain health needs to be waged not only on the treadmill, but also in the grocery store
Lastly, the battle may also utilize new software programs specifically designed to improve the health of older brains. Halprens?s book discusses a program by Dr. Mike Merzenich called Brain Fitness for auditory processing and memory. Initial clinical research suggests that that it does indeed improve cognitive function (http://merzenich.positscience.com/). It reminds us that the recipe for brain health will include an integrative mixture of life style habits, technology, and possibly medications. As important, it means that the offspring of Alzheimer’s patients have more options than simply to wait and hope for the best.
Tags: aging parents, Alzheimer's Disease, caregiver stress, David Solie, How To Say It To Seniors | Posted under Alzheimer's Disease | 2 Comments
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Aging Parents Insights, hosted by David Solie, is a blog radio show that provide listeners with "new ideas and strategies” for understanding and communicating with aging parents.
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