Preserving Stability

Stuck in the Middle

Thoroughly unprepared we take the step into the afternoon of life Carl Jung     My intentions for a number of years now has been to write a “second book” as a follow up to my first one.  This second…

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Why Would An Aging Parent Say That?

A reoccurring theme in caregiver support groups is disparaging and derogatory comments made by aging parents to their adult children who are struggling to do the right thing. Voicing anger and bitterness about how their life has turned out, these…

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Aging Parents Dance Cards

Introducing “Aging Parents Dance Cards,” which were created for adult children of aging parents. The photos below are from the front and back side of one of the cards in the twenty-card set entitled “Reset Expectations.” Each card offers a…

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The Heart of Caregiver’s Resilience

Caregiver’s resilience is a mind set that guides action, an oath to meet failure and keep going, to rise above the unfairness of it all. The last stanza of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s poem “A Psalm of Life” is an anthem…

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10 Questions Before They Move In…

In the communal world of pre-WWII, aging parents almost always moved in. It was expected because there was usually a local family network that closed ranks and helped take care of the elders. In the dispersed world of Boomers and…

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Gray Divorce: It’s Not You, It’s Me…

Why Couples Divorce After Decades of Marriage “If you or someone you know recently divorced after 20 or more years together, you’re not alone. Splitting up later in life, sometimes called “gray divorce,” is on the upswing. In 2010, one…

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The Long Tail of Parental Regret

Some childhoods turn out poorly leaving a trail of emotional scars and dysfunctional behaviors. Survivors are left to make the best of it. While dreaming of a Hollywood moment, none of them expect an abusive or absent parent to ever…

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Navigational Thinking and Being Older

We see things not as they are, but as we are…H.M. Tomlinson Navigational Thinking is an effective strategy for recalibrating perspective. It offers aging adults a process to create a more useful attitude about being older. Navigational thinking mimics the…

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