David Solie's blog Archives - Aging, caregiving and the journey through the second half of life

Informed Control: The Art of Alignment

March 3, 2020

“I can’t believe I have to take a driving evaluation.” Nancy could hear how upset her father was at the idea of being retested to keep his driver’s license, “I have been a licensed driver for over 50 years, and…

Reset Expectations

February 24, 2020

The challenges of caring for an aging parent are exhaustive and quickly exceed the capacity of one person. Caregivers need to adopt realistic and sustainable expectations about their capacity to avoid sacrificing their health for unattainable goals. Acknowledging limits on…

And then an aging parent moves in…

February 17, 2020

When an aging parent moves in, no one can predict how it will work out. What looks good in the beginning can come undone in sudden and distressing ways. Adult children need to frame moving in as “one step” in…

The Real Work Of Families…

February 10, 2020

(As a writer, I always feel I’m best person to title my own articles, blogs and booklets. Of course, that’s just my willfulness not paying attention to better voices who have different take on what I have written. And so…

Family Rules are not a level playing field for Caregivers

February 10, 2020

Families are complex systems where minor changes can produce major consequences at any time and with out warning. Accepting this reality as an immutable law of the world of aging parents helps prevents exhaustive efforts to prevent them from happening. …

Social Fabric: The Key to Senior’s Quality of Life….

February 8, 2020

Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.—Aristotle After completing one of these Social Fabric Mind Maps you can suggest and provide more recreational activities, social outreach, and other ways to provide social support…

Sibling Rules

February 3, 2020

It’s a fact of family life: roles are cut in stone. Stop trying to change a sibling who for the most part resents your audacity to assume you have the right to “fix’ him or her. Accurately assess what a…

Solo Spousal Care

January 20, 2020

Solo caregiving takes a toll on both parties. What starts out as an act of compassion and loyalty can deteriorate into a role that exceeds the best efforts of one person. Reframing the situation from a new vantage point helps…

Life Metaphor

January 16, 2020

This new painting, entitled Life Metaphor, depicts the polyphasic downpour of light and darkness on all our lives, a carpet bombing of lessons aimed at our spiritual growth whether we’re paying attention or not……

For Adult Children Caregivers of Aging Parents, Childhood Matters

January 13, 2020

The residue of childhood carries with it complex feelings about aging parents that limit objectivity, exaggerates responsibilities and increases emotional vulnerability. This distorted landscape makes it impossible for adult children to receive the approval the desperately seek from their aging…

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