You can You can assume that older adults have essentially the same needs and priorities as the rest of the adult population but in doing so, you will miss a never to be repeated opportunity to facilitate their final growth stage.
Equally disappointing, you will inadvertently perpetuate exhausting power struggles that casts their dark shadows of guilt and regret long after their gone.
A better choice is to accept the fact that older adults have their own “end of life” agenda, the very one we’re all going to face sooner than we think when its our turn to leave.
The good news is that it’s easy to find out about this end of life agenda that decodes what both generations are actually experiencing (see this short summary)
But decoding the agenda is only half of the process. Improving the adult child/aging parent relationship requires upgrading assumptions, expectations, language and behavior. It’s the art of learning how to facilitate these deeply heroic tasks.
This act of empathy, solidarity and respect for the partnership will transform both generations in ways you never thought possible. As important, it will mark the kindness and compassion of your caregiver legacy