New arrivals to our caregiver support group confirm what’s being reported in the medical literature. Dementia in the land of aging parents has reached a tipping point and now become the overwhelming concern of 80-90% of our attendees.
The vast majority of these caregivers are daughters of families fraught with denial, escalating conflict and sibling sabotage. Struggling to honor an aging parent’s wish to remain in their own home, these women find themselves caught up in a drama that is unraveling on all fronts, an experience they describe as “failing in place.”
I work in an assisted living community, and this is one of the best books I’ve seen for adult children struggling to engage with their aging parents in discussing the difficult life transitions they’re facing, from needing more help in the home, giving up driving, or having to move into senior housing or assisted living, among other issues.
I give many copies away and recommend it frequently. One of my clients, after reading the book, told me that it helped her understand her parents’ perspective and what they were going through much better, and gave her strategies for helping the whole family cope with what was going on in their lives. It’s difficult for parents to stop being parents, and for adult children to have to become the decision makers and assume control.