Saturday, May 18, 2013

Archive for November, 2009

No Place Like Home for Aging Parents? Maybe, Maybe Not (Follow Up)

Last Updated on Monday, 11 February 2013 02:02 Written by David Solie Friday, 20 November 2009 04:53

Leslie Peters was my guest on a recent blogtalk radio show I host (http://www.blogtalkradio.com/solie/2009/11/07/no-place-like-home-for-aging-parent-maybe-maybe-no). I asked her to provide me with a “list” of questions that would help aging parents and their adult children screen potential senior living accommodations. She was kind enough to send me a list of questions that “often go unanswered.” I think they are excellent. Here they are:

Parent company:

Who owns and operates the community?

How can you find out about the parent company’s fiscal health?

Are there documents such as annual reports or audits that you can have copies of?

Is the company for-profit or not-for-profit? What’s the difference?

How long has the company been in business?

Staffing:

How is the transfer to a higher level of care determined?

Is there someone on staff whose job is to manage transitions from one level of care to another and coordinate communication with the residents, their family members and the physicians?

Are there state and community regulations that determine who is appropriate for each level of care?
What medical and other support services are available on site?

Is there a way of checking to make sure that your Independent residents are up and around each day?

Miscellaneous:

Ask the Marketing person to set up a lunch or dinner with some residents so you can hear firsthand what it is like to live in the community.

Adult children might also consider talking to some of the children of residents to hear about their take on the community, staff and services.

How are new residents welcomed into the community?

Thank you Leslie…

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A Blog Worth Repeating

Last Updated on Monday, 11 February 2013 02:03 Written by David Solie Monday, 9 November 2009 12:01

Dr. Patrick Roden has a wonderful blog entitled “Aging in Place.” Below is the link to his latest post on September 14, 2009. It will do your heart good…

Successful Aging: A Man Named Pearl.

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No Money: No Comment

I was recently asked what to do about aging parents who had little or no savings but refused to discuss any aspect of their “money issue.” It reminded me that our role as adult children is not necessarily about problem solving; it is about compassionate containment. So many of the issues we feel compelled to “fix” have no clear answers. The best we can do is sort out what to accept from what we can actually change. Here was the advice I offered:

The issue of money, like so many other issues in the last phase of life, is about control. The best way to approach it is to reframe money as means of maintaining control. Lack of money takes away control. This link will take you to an article I authored on “communicating touch choices” that offers a practical strategy for how to do this:http://www.aging.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=2103&textonly=1

You may also want to consider three strategies that will help you “hedge” your parent’s financial risk:

1. Buy a long term care policy with a two years home care/two years nursing home benefit. This assumes they will cooperative with the process (i.e. signing the applications and answering questions).

2. Start funding a dedicated “side fund” for expenses that a long term care policy will not cover.

3. If you parents own their home, become familiar with how “reverse mortgages work and when they make sense.

Lastly, you need to began discussions with local area agencies on aging to determine what, if any, community resources can assist your parents if they run out of money.

This is a tough end-game, especially if you parents don’t want to talk about. The article will help you frame your conversations. Be patient but persistent in your discussions about control and your desire to help them maintain it.