After They’re Gone Archives - Page 2 of 3 - Aging, caregiving and the journey through the second half of life

Augmented Eternity: Ready or Not

January 29, 2017

Read this amazing and disturbing article by Adrienne Matei that is published in “Quartz” entitled Beyond The Grave Technology is rewriting yet another chapter in the book on death. In addition to forestalling physical death with machines that can breath…

The Dream

May 7, 2016

Every Mother’s Day I think about my mom’s dream. She longed for a big house on a lake filled with children and the buzz of life, friends dropping in unannounced, and laughter, lots and lots of laughter. Was not to…

Unclaimed

January 25, 2016

This moving story from NPR is about teen volunteers in Boston who serve as pallbearers for those who have died alone and become officially “unclaimed.” Their graveside memorial includes these words: “He died alone with no family to comfort him.…

No Easy Way Out

December 5, 2015

In working with our aging parents, we encounter predictable dilemmas with no easy way out. Here is a personal story that echoes a common theme I hear about from adult children. As my mother approached 90 and despite increasing frailty…

The End of Life Dilemma

October 11, 2015

The question of how much care at the end of life is a dilemma with no easy answers. Ultimately, it is best approached by understanding the patient’s perspective within the context of his or her family: What does the patient…

Toxic Parents and Adult Children

June 4, 2015

It’s the luck of the draw as to which childhood any of us inherit. Sometimes it’s filled with toxic parents who leave abusive tattoos that last a lifetime. Remarkably, they wind up under our care with the same bag of…

Poetry and Aging Parents, Part 3

January 25, 2015

The loss of an aging parent is not an isolated event. Rather, their passing is part of the thinning social fabric of middle age and beyond. Siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins friends, associates and casual acquaintances all start to take their…

Beyond Loss: Grief vs Major Depression

May 17, 2014

With aging comes the loss of those who mean the most to us. There is no way to prepare for it. We are ambushed and swept away into grief and suffering. After some period of time, we slowly, unevenly crawl…

The Right Words…

August 21, 2012

We are always searching for the right words when a death occurs. We mean well but our attempts to comfort may painfully produce the opposite result. This blog post by Carole Brody is a “refresher course” in how our words…

Seeking Forgiveness: Linda Kriger

July 4, 2011

This deeply moving article by Linda Kriger was published in 2008: http://www.forward.com/articles/14255/ I have read and reread this tale of estrangement, bitterness, regret, and the search for “repair” because I heard endless versions of it from friends, colleagues, clients, and…