After They’re Gone

No Easy Way Out

In working with our aging parents, we encounter predictable dilemmas with no easy way out. Here is a personal story that echoes a common theme I hear about from adult children. As my mother approached 90 and despite increasing frailty…

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The End of Life Dilemma

The question of how much care at the end of life is a dilemma with no easy answers. Ultimately, it is best approached by understanding the patient’s perspective within the context of his or her family: What does the patient…

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Toxic Parents and Adult Children

It’s the luck of the draw as to which childhood any of us inherit. Sometimes it’s filled with toxic parents who leave abusive tattoos that last a lifetime. Remarkably, they wind up under our care with the same bag of…

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Poetry and Aging Parents, Part 3

The loss of an aging parent is not an isolated event. Rather, their passing is part of the thinning social fabric of middle age and beyond. Siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins friends, associates and casual acquaintances all start to take their…

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The Right Words…

We are always searching for the right words when a death occurs. We mean well but our attempts to comfort may painfully produce the opposite result. This blog post by Carole Brody is a “refresher course” in how our words…

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Seeking Forgiveness: Linda Kriger

This deeply moving article by Linda Kriger was published in 2008: http://www.forward.com/articles/14255/ I have read and reread this tale of estrangement, bitterness, regret, and the search for “repair” because I heard endless versions of it from friends, colleagues, clients, and…

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What I Know Now: Lessons From Looking Back

Last June I was interviewed by Nell Bernstein, Senior Editor at Caring.com about what “I would have done differently” in caring for my mother based on what I know now. Below is my response: Talking With David Solie June 2008…

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Bitter Endings

We wished things had turned out different. They didn’t. History and personalities brought the drama of our aging parents to its only logical and painful conclusion. But as Linda Kriger points out in her heart felt article entitled Seeking Forgiveness…

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