End of Life Dilemmas Archives - Page 3 of 7 - Aging, caregiving and the journey through the second half of life

The Secrets of Aging Parents

October 8, 2016

Adult children are frustrated by their aging parent’s unwillingness to share important information about their plans, health or finances. The withholding weakens the caregiving partnership and sets everyone up for poor outcomes. So why are they so secretive at the…

The Rise Of Dilemmas

August 16, 2016

The landscape of old age is populated with dilemmas, which represent a new and confusing layer of complexity. Here’s why. We are all raised to be accomplished problem solvers. It is a skill set that focuses on the elimination of…

What We Live For…

August 7, 2016

There are many ways to dance with an aging parent who has dementia. Toni Luciani invited his 91 year old mother to join him using photography and the canvas of her aging to create art. The photographic results in the…

Problems Versus Dilemmas Of Aging Parents

June 29, 2016

Although demanding and stressful, the problems of aging can be contained or eliminated. Lost prescriptions can be refilled. Unsafe staircases can be modified. Transportation for an unscheduled medical testing can be arranged. Solving problems means eliminating uncertainty and most caregivers…

The Context of Caregivers of Aging Parents

June 27, 2016

I was asked to write an article about the context of caregivers of aging parents. What’s the scope and depth of their role? What are the issues they have to navigate every day? I found it was easier to create…

End Of The Line…

March 24, 2016

We take pains to keep the nursing home at arm’s length, a cultural purgatory that haunts our worst fears about being old. Yet, as Valery Hazanov found out, it is also an instructional landscape about who we are despite our…

Compassionate Body Guard

March 8, 2016

Our aging parents are not well matched for a healthcare system running on procedural autopilot. They need compassionate body guards who will help them make sense of their medical options based on their quality of life wishes and then help…

Unclaimed

January 25, 2016

This moving story from NPR is about teen volunteers in Boston who serve as pallbearers for those who have died alone and become officially “unclaimed.” Their graveside memorial includes these words: “He died alone with no family to comfort him.…

How do you start the conversation about finances with aging parents?

January 9, 2016

1. Begin the conversation with a clear acknowledgement that you understand that control is critical to their wellbeing and you fully support their need to have it. Care giving conversations can quickly turn threatening to older adults who are hypersensitive…

Crossing the Eighty-Something Frontier

December 19, 2015

We all hope our aging parents will be robust and independent as they navigate their eighties. Some will, but the majority, nine out of ten, will not. They will become frail or suffer from dementia. They will wind up not…