How To Say It To Seniors

Informed Control: The Art of Alignment

“I can’t believe I have to take a driving evaluation.” Nancy could hear how upset her father was at the idea of being retested to keep his driver’s license, “I have been a licensed driver for over 50 years, and…

Continue Reading


Reset Expectations

The challenges of caring for an aging parent are exhaustive and quickly exceed the capacity of one person. Caregivers need to adopt realistic and sustainable expectations about their capacity to avoid sacrificing their health for unattainable goals. Acknowledging limits on…

Continue Reading


And then an aging parent moves in…

When an aging parent moves in, no one can predict how it will work out.  What looks good in the beginning can come undone in sudden and distressing ways. Adult children need to frame moving in as “one step” in…

Continue Reading


The Real Work Of Families…

(As a writer, I always feel I’m best person to title my own articles, blogs and booklets. Of course, that’s just my willfulness not paying attention to better voices who have different take on what I have written.  And so…

Continue Reading




Sibling Rules

It’s a fact of family life: roles are cut in stone.  Stop trying to change a sibling who for the most part resents your audacity to assume you have the right to “fix’ him or her. Accurately assess what a…

Continue Reading


Solo Spousal Care

Solo caregiving takes a toll on both parties.  What starts out as an act of compassion and loyalty can deteriorate into a role that exceeds the best efforts of one person. Reframing the situation from a new vantage point helps…

Continue Reading


Life Metaphor

This new painting, entitled Life Metaphor, depicts the polyphasic downpour of light and darkness on all our lives, a carpet bombing of lessons aimed at our spiritual growth whether we’re paying attention or not……

Continue Reading


Magical Thinking

Feeling overwhelmed, aging parents may turn to magical thinking to solve problems.  Like denial, it allows them a way to defer the complexity and burden of a problem. Opting to continue unsafe driving, ignoring financial limitations or rejecting help with…

Continue Reading