aging parents


Avoid Ultimatums

The best way to make sure nothing changes in conversations with aging parents is to give them an ultimatum. It’s good for about 10 seconds of “take charge” pride followed by the long tail of days wishing you had tried…

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The Guiding Question

  It’s easy to get lost in the consumptive ocean of endless transactions that come with caregiving.  There is so much to do all the time that just thinking about it can be exhausting and defeating.  Well intended advice from…

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Second Thoughts After They’re Gone

When a parent passes away, we take on a new kind of work. I am not referring to the necessary “estate chores” of filing papers or clearing out the house. I am referring to the psychological process of sorting out…

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What’s Really Going On Here?

Adult children and aging parents view the same situation from very different perspectives.  And both are absolutely sure their interpretation of its meaning as well as their ideas about how to deal with it are correct.  Not surprising, each party…

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Mind The Gap

Aging parents have a different psychological agenda from their adult children. The agenda of the last phase of life has a laser like focus on preserving control and creating a legacy. It’s all about Lasting and Leaving. Adult children need…

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