battle for control Archives - Aging, caregiving and the journey through the second half of life

The Drama of Control Never Gets Easier and Never Goes Away

August 2, 2020

Control is the current we ride to the end. Sometimes It’s buried in a dilemma between two unsavory choices and no escape hatch. Sometimes heroic efforts to facilitate control provoke dilemmas we never saw coming. My point is that control…

When “Little Changes” Cause Everything To Fall Apart

July 26, 2018

There are no “little” changes in the world of aging parents. Any action, throwing out old magazines, scheduling an appointment without telling them, or not including a sibling in what seems a minor decision can trigger a temporary system shut…

Match Your Words

January 21, 2018

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Unlocking the Communication Code of Seniors

May 31, 2017

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place—-George Bernard Shaw Despite the unprecedented opportunity afforded advisors by an aging population, many find themselves unprepared to successfully communicate with seniors. Instead, they wind up frustrated…

Aging Parents and Money

May 26, 2017

I was recently asked to write an article as a guest author for the Love & Order website on the ever awkward conversations adult children struggle to have with their aging parents about money issues. I began the article with…

How To Talk To Aging Parents About Where To Live

May 2, 2017

I was recently interviewed for an article entitled “Conversation vs. Confrontation: Guidelines for Effective Communication with Your Aging Parents.” In it I discuss how often the insistence by older adults to “stay put” in their home despite deteriorating circumstances prevents…

No Easy Way Out

December 5, 2015

In working with our aging parents, we encounter predictable dilemmas with no easy way out. Here is a personal story that echoes a common theme I hear about from adult children. As my mother approached 90 and despite increasing frailty…

Losing Patience on All Sides

September 19, 2015

The tug of war between adult children and aging parents comes down to control. This article is based on an interview I gave the publication on my perspective regarding this generational power struggle… When Seniors Try the Patience of their…