How To Say It To Seniors

Find The Path…

Find The Path…
There are three critical aspects to building a partnership with aging parents:Conversation, Collaboration and Accommodation. 1. You have to find a voice that “resonates” with their need to be acknowledged as well as preserve some semblance of dignity amid the…

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Sometimes winning is no solution…

Sometimes winning is no solution…
It’s a long game filled with constant temptations to prove you are right.  The real art of caring for aging parents may be having the insight and discipline to know what to ignore.  Looking back, these will be the moments…

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Avoid Ultimatums

Avoid Ultimatums
The best way to make sure nothing changes in conversations with aging parents is to give them an ultimatum. It’s good for about 10 seconds of “take charge” pride followed by the long tail of days wishing you had tried…

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The Guiding Question

The Guiding Question
  It’s easy to get lost in the consumptive ocean of endless transactions that come with caregiving.  There is so much to do all the time that just thinking about it can be exhausting and defeating.  Well intended advice from…

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Second Thoughts After They’re Gone

Second Thoughts After They’re Gone
When a parent passes away, we take on a new kind of work. I am not referring to the necessary “estate chores” of filing papers or clearing out the house. I am referring to the psychological process of sorting out…

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What’s Really Going On Here?

What’s Really Going On Here?
Adult children and aging parents view the same situation from very different perspectives.  And both are absolutely sure their interpretation of its meaning as well as their ideas about how to deal with it are correct.  Not surprising, each party…

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Shades of Dementia

Shades of Dementia
  It’s easy to dismiss early slips of aging parents when a name, conversation or place simply goes missing.  They’re just getting old we tell ourselves.  Just getting old. But it persists, expands and grows worrisome.  When denial is no…

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