Aging, caregiving and the journey through the second half of life

Reset Expectations

December 15, 2017

The challenge of caring for an aging parent are exhaustive and quickly exceed the capacity of any one person. Caregivers need to adopt realistic and sustainable expectations about their capacityy to avoid sacrificing their health for unattainable goals. Acknowledging limits…

The Shifting Sands of Solo Caregiving…

December 12, 2017

Solo caregiving takes a toll on both parties. What starts out as an act of compassion and loyalty can deteriorate into a role that exceeds the best efforts of one person. Reframing the situation from a new vantage point helps…

Families Are Wired To Erupt

December 7, 2017

In truth, families are officially “complex systems” where seemingly minor changes can produce major consequences ar anytime and without warning. What seemed like a good idea turns out to trigger an exhaustive meltdown. Now what? Accepting this reality as an…

Childhood Matters

December 2, 2017

The residue of childhood carries with it complex feelings about aging parents that limit objectivity, exaggerate responsibilities and increase emotional vulnerability. This distorted landscape makes it impossible to receive the approval adult children desperately seek from their aging parents in…

This is what love looks like…

November 15, 2017

This is what love looks like across war, sickness, separation and finally death…none of those afflictions of life on earth were a match for the fierce and profound love these two veterans carried in their hearts and in their actions…talk…

Growing Up With Toxic Parents

November 5, 2017

This quote by Susan Forward from her book Toxic Parents captures the essence of the emotional wound toxic parenting inflicts on children. Recovery as an adult takes layers of patience and compassion as well as the context of sustained “healthy…

Perfect Gift for Caregivers of Aging Parents

November 3, 2017

Below is the complete set, all 20 cards of the Aging Parents Dance Cards deck. Together, they offer bite-sized portions of David Solie’s philosophy, insights, reframing strategies and work arounds that all help to reduce the complexity and uncertainty of…

How A One-Page Diagram Can Reduce Readmissions

October 31, 2017

I was asked how I use Caregiver Mind Maps with clients. My response was that I have found them immensely useful when I need to present the “big picture”situation and game plan about an aging or caregiving challenge. Here is…

Off Label with Nursing Home Patients

October 21, 2017

This disturbing investigation by CNN of the off label use of a medication on nursing home patients reinforces the responsibility of caregivers to know the names, dosages and the “exact medical reason” for each medication the older family member is…

Functional Ability is Destiny at the End

October 17, 2017

This important article by Dr. Dhruv Khullar in the New York Times offers new insights from data mining about a critical tipping point for older adults who drift beyond having chronic illnesses to also developing functional ability deficits. This lethal…

Second-Half of Life Blog