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Observations and commentary on aging, caregiving, and the complex journey through the second half of life.

Second-Half of Life Blog

The Task of Being Remembered

Posted by on Feb 9, 2016 in Advisors, Aging Parents, Caregiver, Siblings | Comments Off on The Task of Being Remembered

When understood as a psychological developmental task, it’s not surprising that legacy insists on being addressed, either consciously or unconsciously. Yet because seniors are old doesn’t mean they understand this process. When faced with it, most people do not have a clue about how to accomplish it and need to be facilitated. A lucky few are focused and have it all figured out. The rest of us wind up fuzzy since we don’t know where to begin.

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Never Good Enough

Posted by on Feb 4, 2016 in Aging Parents, Caregiver, Siblings | Comments Off on Never Good Enough

Never Good Enough

This article is especially useful for unloved daughters in caregiving roles with their aging mothers. It offers compassionate and effective strategies that help unwind the toxic residue of never being good enough…

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Unclaimed

Posted by on Jan 25, 2016 in Aging Parents | Comments Off on Unclaimed

Unclaimed

This moving story from NPR is about teen volunteers in Boston who serve as pallbearers for those who have died alone and become officially “unclaimed.” Their graveside memorial includes these words:

“He died alone with no family to comfort him.
But today we are his family, we are here as his sons.”

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How do you start the conversation about finances with aging parents?

Posted by on Jan 9, 2016 in Aging Parents, Caregiver | Comments Off on How do you start the conversation about finances with aging parents?

How do you start the conversation about finances with aging parents?

Begin the conversation with a clear acknowledgement that you understand that control is critical to their wellbeing and you fully support their need to have it. The need for control is consumptive and unrelenting. Most power struggles between older adults and their families revolve around control issues such as where to live, healthcare, money, and driving. These conversations can quickly descend into standoffs with both sides feeling angry and misunderstood. Yet these conversations are unavoidable.

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Caregiver Dilemma: Moving Beyond the Wake Up Call

Posted by on Jan 2, 2016 in Advisors, Aging Parents, Caregiver | Comments Off on Caregiver Dilemma: Moving Beyond the Wake Up Call

Caregiver Dilemma: Moving Beyond the Wake Up Call

Popular media is abuzz with wake up calls for adult children. Framed as warnings, they detail the impending crisis that comes with caring for aging parents. While provoking anxiety and concern, they are ineffective as a call to action. It’s not that adult children are unwilling to take action. In my experience, I have found the challenge for them is where to start in the face of such a daunting task. In most cases, I have them start with an inventory of caregiving assets. Here’s why.

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Losing Your Way…

Posted by on Jan 1, 2016 in Caregiver, Poetry | Comments Off on Losing Your Way…

Losing Your Way…

Caregivers are always beginning a new. It comes with the work. Time and again they are knocked off their balance point and scramble to find a way to get back up. The art of caregiver recovery is made easier with “anchor points.” Anchor points are emotional touch stones that call you back to who you are and restore your exhausted heart.

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Crossing the Eighty-Something Frontier

Posted by on Dec 19, 2015 in Advisors, Aging Parents, Caregiver | Comments Off on Crossing the Eighty-Something Frontier

Crossing the Eighty-Something Frontier

We all hope our aging parents will be robust and independent as they navigate their eighties. Some will, but the majority, nine out of ten, will not. They will become frail or suffer from dementia. They will wind up not being able to take care of themselves. We wish it were different, but the statistics on “older bodies” are blunt: rapid deceleration from eighty on is the norm. How is this information useful?

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A New Dilemma of Aging: Nursing Homes Refusing To Admit Obese Patients

Posted by on Dec 16, 2015 in Aging Parents, Caregiver | Comments Off on A New Dilemma of Aging: Nursing Homes Refusing To Admit Obese Patients

A New Dilemma of Aging:  Nursing Homes Refusing To Admit Obese Patients

This article is a bellwether warning for older adults about who may and may not be offered a bed in a nursing home in a society with an epidemic morbid obesity. As the authors summarize:

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Exhausted Caregivers

Posted by on Dec 14, 2015 in Advisors, Aging Parents, Caregiver | Comments Off on Exhausted Caregivers

Exhausted Caregivers

Back in July of this year, I posted an article about exhausted caregivers due to decision fatigue. A reader asked me compress the article into a mind map. Here it is…

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A Few Words of Advice on Choosing a Retirement Community

Posted by on Dec 10, 2015 in Aging Parents, Boomers | Comments Off on A Few Words of Advice on Choosing a Retirement Community

A Few Words of Advice on Choosing a Retirement Community

I have found the following 10 questions particularly useful in the vetting process…

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